Eloquence

This past Sunday I was watching Ghost Adventures on the Travel Channel not because I hold any particular belief in the paranormal, but because the three 'investigators' are so completely ridiculous I can't believe they ever figured out how to put their pants on in the morning, much less get their own cable show. Each episode can be summed up thusly:

[Scene]

The setting: some totally rad-awesome place where Something Bad may have happened anywhere from the dawn of time up to last year. Usually an abandoned warehouse, extra-dusty, an abandoned sanitarium/hospital, a mid-renovation hotel, or a bar. Our 3 Dudes arrive and set up camp.

Dude 1: DUDE. Bro.

Dude 2: Brah?

Dude 3: Like, dude.

Dude 1: Dude. Duuuuuuuudebrah. Look at me yell at ghosts. [note: The last line will come out as 'Bro dude dude $(#% brah']

Dudes 2&3: Brooooo.

Dustbunny: Rah.

Dudes 1-3: WAAAAUUUUGGGGH DUDE BRO BRO DUDE BRAH $%! BRAAAH DUUUDE!!!! [They run in terror to either a like-minded paranormal investigation team or a priest. The like-minded paranormal investigation team will inevitably tell them at the the drafts, dust bunnies, and their own shadows are like, totally for sure ghosts. Dude. The priest will sigh and tell them to go back to Bakersfield and see if they can get their jobs at Pac Sun back.]

Dude 1: Bro. Dude.

[SCENE]

Sad as it is, it's still better than American Idol or Kate Gosselin's dancing. Combined.